Is it Time to Ditch The Dating Apps?

Written by Serina Ahmad without the use of ChatGPT.

If you have been alive and single at any point during the last decade, you’ve probably spent at least some time on a dating app. Whether that’s Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Grindr, Seeking, Raya, something about a bagel…the options are endless. Nowadays, it can feel like it’s the only way to meet people - nobody approaches anybody in the wild anymore, right? Well, maybe not.

The popularity of dating apps has declined in recent years, with 16% of users from the top 10 dating apps deleting their accounts between 2023 and 2024 (source). This charge seems to be led by Gen-Z, my generation, and the generation that has grown up with screens in our faces for most of our formative years. There is a wealth of research and think-pieces around why dating apps have been losing popularity in recent years, but I’m no scholar so I’m just going to tell you how it all went down for me.

The App Era

My Tinder profile read like I was a scammer. I put up three photos of myself and a description that said “good time, not a long time (wine glass emoji).” I got catfished 3 times, approached by a wannabe Christian Grey, and received responses to innocuous greetings like “hi” with “you like big dick, honey?” dozens of times. I was in the trenches for real. In hindsight, my profile wasn’t helping me out, but I honestly didn’t know what I was doing.

Before Tinder, I was in university in London where there were hotties seemingly coming out of my ears. I had no use for apps because I was a 19-year-old party girl with a Canadian accent, which British boys love as much as we North Americans adore a Hugh Grant twang. After that, I was in a serious relationship for 2.5 years and, naturally, had no use for apps.

During my Tinder era, I was freshly single, a manic emotional wreck, and rave-ing my way through the pain of a pretty horrific breakup. I did end up meeting one person on Tinder in real life - a sexy Scandinavian fireman - who I thought I would meet with the intention that Tinder was designed for, and never speak to again. We ended up getting along so well during our first date that we went out for the better part of a year.

I was shocked. Tinder is just a hookup app, right? Apparently not. Increasingly, I’ve heard stories through the grapevine of more people meeting their significant other through Tinder because there’s so much less pressure than with other apps. On a Tinder date, the likelihood of meeting someone you have an actual connection with is so slim that it almost feels like fate bringing you together. In a way, Tinder has kind of brought back the meet-cute of yesteryear.

Hinge, for me, was a totally different story. Once things ended with the sexy fireman, I took some time to do some soul searching and be “properly single” for a while. Eventually, I made a Hinge profile, thinking maybe I was ready for something a little less casual this time around. That’s what Hinge is for, right?

With a fixed minimum amount of images and prompts you have to answer, the opportunity to display your personality as well as your six pack allows for people to choose their dates for more than just their looks. Right? Wrong! It’s the same!

Fewer scammers, but way worse matches. I recently learned that dating apps like Hinge keep their “top prospects” or whatever behind a paywall to encourage more users to subscribe to their premium services. So basically, you’re telling me, that I have to PAY to be on this app in order to match with anyone I would conceivably find attractive? The people in my immediate radius who are probably hanging out at the bar two blocks away from where I am, I now have to pay to meet? Hell no.

So I deleted everything. All of it. And decided to “freestyle” my dating life.

Meeting People Without Dating Apps in 2025

At first, I felt a little out of touch. Everyone single around me seemed to always be in a talking stage with someone or another, usually on an app. I was floating around in the abyss.

The reason I started with the apps anyway is because I found it a lot harder to organically meet people once I started working, especially during winter when most people are depressed and also cuffed. Coffee shops, bars, parties, in line at ServiceOntario…there are ton of places to meet people, but nobody was talking to me! It wasn’t like my university days, where you could stroll into a party, ask the hottie from your history class if she had a ciggie, and the next thing you know you’re making out in a bathroom stall.

Ever had the experience after a breakup, where suddenly you become irresistible? Like strangers will stop you on the street to ask for your number, people who know nothing about you, but can sense a change in your vibe? That’s what happened to me. I realized that my vibe had become absolutely rancid because I was unhappy. I looked fine, smelled fine, dressed the same as always, but something about my aura was scaring the hoes away. It wasn’t until I quit my corporate job that everything changed.

Suddenly, I went from having absolutely no dating life to having too many gyal that they could last me the next two weeks (thank you Central Cee for your poetry). By virtue of being a happier person, I found I was much more willing to engage in random conversations with people while I was out and about. I wasn’t constantly glued to Slack on my phone, so that certainly helped with making eye contact, but it was more of an openness to life. Many of these conversations ended up being random chats with strangers about nothing really, and some of those conversations turned into connections that resulted in dates.

These connections haven’t necessarily turned into anything meaningful yet, but by ditching the apps I’ve been exposed to a much wider breadth of people than I would have before.

The Types We Get Stuck With

On an app, you can screen a potential match to make sure they’re the right height, have the right job, education, similar interests, and of course that they are good enough at taking pictures of themselves that you find them hot enough to swipe right. I have a mental checklist of the things that I would be looking for in an ideal partner, but historically the people I’ve been most drawn to prior to using apps don’t adhere to most, or really any of that criteria.

The one thing that the apps can’t account for is the chemistry you feel when you meet someone random in real life that makes you think, “damn, who is THAT?” That instant connection, or surprisingly interesting conversation you have with a random person at a house party that makes you linger just a little bit longer than you thought you would.

Some of my closest friends are people with whom I have few common interests. I have no independent interest in normative architecture, credit card point hacks, or Magic the Gathering, but I still enjoy listening to my friends talk about those things because…well I like them, and it’s cool to learn about new things! Why is your oldest friend your oldest friend? Sometimes you just catch a vibe and run with it.

While dating apps can absolutely expand the pool of people you get to meet, there’s something to be said about shrinking it down. When you meet someone in real life, you already have one thing in common: your reason for being in that particular place at that particular time. Sometimes that’s enough to start a conversation. Furthermore, I think there’s a bit more staying power in the mind when you meet someone in real life. You can get so many more clues about who they are from their body language, accessories, or perfume than you do from a chat bubble.

I’ve always treated my dating app matches like tamagotchis. Little fun things to play with on my phone until I get bored or have something to do in my real life. They don’t really become people to me until we actually meet up and I see them in the flesh. This is probably a terrible way to think, I know, but truly can you name one person you matched with a month ago, who you didn’t end up meeting IRL?

To ditch or not to ditch?

If you can’t tell, I’m pro-real-life dating, but I do think dating apps have their advantages. Sometimes it’s easier to vet people for safety with a google search, to screen for weird behaviour in the chat before you take the time out to meet them, and to widen the pool of people you would realistically meet in real life (if you’re someone who doesn’t have the time to hang around bars and coffee shops because you have a job, dammit!)

I had devised a sterile formula with my matches, which was exactly two drinks at a bar no more than 15 minutes away from me to reduce the amount of time spent on a potentially bad date. I always had a preconceived notion of who that person was, what they looked like, and what they would be like in person, so naturally I was often disappointed. This is probably more so my problem than an endemic issue with apps, but this usually took the opportunity to feel a ‘spark’ away from me.

Conversely, I had some absolutely bizarre, confusing, and wonderful dates with the people I met in real life. There was the scary, bad boy bouncer I flirted with to skip the line who took me speeding down the empty streets in the middle of the night in his sports car, and actually ended up being a high school teacher by day. The gorgeous redheaded chef from my book club who helped me hobble into an Uber when my stiletto broke after too much wine on our second date, and obviously did not call me back. My friend’s friend who I accidentally ended up dancing with the whole night at a concert, only to end up at a pub together, staring down the barrel of a Guinness thinking “was that really a good idea?” It was actually a terrible idea!

Despite the title of this article, you really don’t have to delete your dating apps in order to meet more people in real life - the two are not mutually exclusive. I will say, you’re in for a much more exciting time if you do decide to pursue IRL dating again. It doesn’t mean you won’t get left on read, or ghosted, or hurt in the same ways you would with apps, but it just might expand your view on the types of people you’re willing to go out with. Regardless, your stories at brunch are going to be way more interesting.